Helping manage emotions in divorce

May 18, 2017 by Sue McArthur

Manage Emotions in Divorce

Many couples who are facing the prospect of a divorce or separation believe that it is the legalities of the situation that need to be managed and resolved. People going through separation are aware that they may be feeling a number of emotions, with sadness, anxiety or anger being common, but there is often an attempt to stifle such feelings in order to get on with the practicalities of ending the relationship. So how can you manage emotions in divorce?

Humans are by their very nature, creatures with emotion and a divorce or separation is not just legal, it is emotional also. If these emotions are not managed both sensitively and appropriately it can have a very negative impact on the legal actions and decisions required.

Many divorcing couples struggle to stay focused at a time when they are being asked to make important decisions about their lives and their futures. What is required at this time are solutions and not increased conflict and animosity. The collaborative process is an option which gives all of this.

The Collaborative Process is designed to help those going through a divorce or separation to take positive steps towards reaching agreement whilst maintaining relationships and assists them manage emotions in divorce and separation. The process involves decisions being made at meetings where collaboratively trained lawyers and the couple attend. During the meetings, the couples are listened to and supported and encouraged to communicate their priorities and fears. The likeminded collaborative lawyers will hep the couple to actively seek creative solutions that work for them and their family. The advice and information provided by the lawyers is given in an open and transparent way to ensure the interests of the couple are prioritised and upheld. In addition to the lawyers, the collaborative process can involve third parties such as family consultants or financial neutrals to help the couple manage the emotional and financial issues that arise. They too work as a team with the lawyers and the couple and are committed to problem solving and achieving unique outcomes for the family as a whole.

Divorce and separation can be a difficult and painful experience; however the collaborative process helps alleviate the pain and ensures that emotions do not threaten to exacerbate the legal actions and decisions that need to be taken.


By Lucinda Connell of Major Family Law